A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV.
The wife says, “I’m going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?”
The husband says, “Yeah, grab me a soda… and while you’re up, maybe lose a little weight.”
There’s a long silence.
She calmly walks to the kitchen.
A few minutes later, she comes back… and hands him a glass of water.
He looks confused. “I asked for a soda.”
She smiles sweetly and says,
“Yeah… and I asked for a better husband. Looks like we’re both learning to live with disappointment.” ????
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He Tried to Impress the Waitress… But One Tiny Detail Ruined Everything??
A guy walks into a diner in New York City and orders a coffee.
The waitress asks, “You want cream and sugar?”
He says, “No thanks, I’m sweet enough.”
She rolls her eyes and brings the coffee anyway.
A few minutes later, he waves her over again and says,
“Excuse me, I think there’s a fly in my coffee.”
The waitress leans in, looks closely, and says,
“Sir… that’s not a fly.”
The guy squints, confused. “Then what is it?”
She smiles and replies,
“That’s the confidence you ordered earlier… looks like it drowned.” ???
